The last word…

Blog of Stephen G. Crampsie

  • Fear not friends … Teresa may yet save us November 8, 2013

    Friends, Windsorites, cancer sufferers, let me allay your fears; I come to praise Teresa Piruzza and the Ontario Liberals, not to bury them. Fear not for them, for they will live on, even as the lives of those they ostensibly represent in Windsor are endangered by the removal of thoracic surgeries, a spectre strangely sprung from the ether. But I say swallow your fears, excise your angst, and stand ready to admire them; make ready your praise for Teresa, the Liberal orator designate who will swoop to save us from the ravages of coercive, ambitious, soulless expediency. Girded by the cries of her people, moved by their plight and the extensive free news coverage this crisis has spawned, Teresa will act when the time is right. For Teresa is our friend, and an honourable politician.

    Having elected Teresa, need we fear that her honourable friends will abandon us? Truthfully, has Teresa not brought many advantages to our region? No? Well OK, but when the people cried foul, was Teresa’s voice not heard? Did she not join the chorus, albeit belatedly?

    So rest easy, for now Teresa says our voices, through her efforts, have been heard in hallowed Hogtown, and Teresa is an honourable politician.

    I speak not to disapprove of the Liberals, for we did love them once, enough to grant them power. And they are honour bound to serve.

    So bear with Teresa, and she will deliver justice. Focus not on how this crisis came to be; that matters not as long as we prevail. After all, what honourable party need endure such scrutiny?

    Teresa will fight to preserve our right to thoracic cancer surgeries, and we will forget to ask from whence came the threat that appeared on our hospital doorsteps. We will brook no hint of Machiavellian machinations, for such crisis engineering would be unconscionable. (Even if it were, we might marvel at how such a crisis cost nothing to create and will cost nothing to set straight.) We will have lost little but time, and accrued the bonus of overlooking the larger, expensive and egregious transgressions of others within the ruling party.

    Through her handling of this crisis, the only Liberal representative in Southwestern Ontario will stand apart from her troubled cohorts, separated from them to be cradled in the bosom of the local electorate.

    And if Teresa wins the day – preferably before her political rivals make hay with public rallies and petitions – would it surprise us to see a suddenly softhearted Premier Kathleen Wynne take to the podium to praise Teresa the Tigress? Such a public display of deference would play triumphantly in our hearts.

    And, come the next election, even if she only helps to maintain the status quo in the face of our implacable foe, might we be regaled with tales of our nouveau warrior princess? Could we resist the woman who stood up for us, the heroine who defied ruthless bureaucrats, who deserves another chance to represent our interests?

    Be not surprised when we beg our saviour Teresa to keep her seat, for she is an honourable politician and it would behoove us to be grateful.

    Hail, Teresa!